We struggle with infertility.
It’s been hard… to say the least. I have kept this to myself for a long time.I am a very private person. I always have been.
I NEVER wanted to make this information public. I didn’t want anyone to know. To me it was admitting imperfection, failure, orinadequacy.
I hate when people complain! Especially, when they do it solely to seek attention.Which is why I’ve never mentioned my infertility before.
This message wasn’t planned out or premeditated. It is spontaneous and heartfelt. Up until last year I hadn’t told anyone, except my own mother.
So why now? Why am I telling you?
My objective isn’t to seek commiseration or sympathy for my current situation. Instead, I want to raise awareness. I want to help someone in need!
The older I get, the more I just want to assist, uplift and strengthen those around me.
Life is hard!
But we don’t have to be…We can choose to be kind. We can choose to make a difference.
Most importantly… a difference for the better!
Couples who have successfully conceived with or without trying, tend to look down on, judge or assume too quickly… That couples without children, are too invested in their careers, don’t want children or are too self-centered or selfish to have kids.
Their first inquiry is always, “When are you going to start trying?
Dax and I have been married for 7 years, this May. We have been on the receiving end, of all of these questions and harsh assumptions.
I’ve heard people whisper, “She only care about her figure.” Little do they know I work out in hopes to improve my fertile health.
I’ve been told “You don’t have enough faith.” Little do they know I go to church every Sunday.
Others have given me ultimatums or deadlines. Little do they know, over 50% of my family struggles with infertility.
I have even been told: “You are too old to have kids. If you do have any, you will only be able to have 1 or 2.” Little do they know I would be beyond happy, to be blessed with just one!
Many individuals have made me feel guilty for something I cannot control.
To them I say… How sad!
Not because of my current situation or set of circumstances. But because they are so negative. When they could have bit their tongue and said nothing, they chose to be judgmental and coarse.
Life is hard.
It is difficult for everyone! No one is exempt from tribulation. Life is challenging without others hurtful assumptions and comments.
“There is nothing noble or impressive about being cynical. Skepticism is easy. Anyone can do it!” – Dieter F. Uchtdorf
I prefer to be optimistic. I choose to be kind. I enjoy looking for the good in others. I assume the best and doubt the bad.
The reason I decided to voluntarily share this with you, was to buoy up those who might be struggling. I feel prompted to share my story…
With individuals or couples like us, who can’t have children.
Those who have been judged unfairly.
Those who are heartbroken.
Those who have lost a loved one.
Those who are struggling with addiction.
Those who are suffering from an illness.
Or those experiencing pain from the consequence of a personal choice.
Anyone who has been dealt a difficult hand.
Whether you are infertile or not, I know you are going through something hard!
I know you need encouragement. We all need encouragement!
So, my encouragement it this…
Be strong. Your circumstances do not limit you. Your trials are there to test you. Which will hopefully make you stronger! What can you learn from this adversity?
Don’t listen. Don’t listen to the unbeliever, cynic or pessimist. That includes yourself!
“Ships don’t sink because of the water around them. Ships sink because the water that gets in them. Don’t let what’s happening around, you get inside your head and weigh you down.”
Stay positive. Think happy thoughts! Positive thoughts about others, yourself and your circumstances. A bad attitude it like a flat tire, you can’t get very far until you change it!
Be kind. You aren’t the only one struggling! Find ways to serve someone else. Through service for others, we often realize our circumstances aren’t as bad as they seem.
“When you see a happy person, don’t assume their life is perfect. Perhaps they have chosen to be cheerful in spite of terrible trials.” – Hank R. Smith
I have made mistakes. I am far from perfect. I have bad days and I let water in my boat. But I don’t have to let it weigh me down and I certainly don’t let it sink me!
I choose to be happy. I can choose to have hope!
Life isn’t fair, others can be cruel, and you may not get what you want out of life…
But you can be the hope someone is seeking. You can make a difference in someone else’s life!
“When you help another up a mountain, you are a little nearer to the top yourself.” – Thomas S. Monson
And when troubles arise, remember this…
“If for a while the harder you try, the harder it gets, take heart! So it has been with the best people who ever lived.” – Jeffery R Holland
You are NOT alone. Jesus not only bore the pains of all our sins and transgressions… but also our infirmities. He knows exactly how and what you are feeling. Rely on him for spiritual and physical strength!
“There is no physical pain, no spiritual wound, no anguish of soul or heartache, no infirmity or weakness you or I ever confront in mortality that the Savior did not experience first. In a moment of weakness, we may cry out, ‘No one knows what it is like. No one understands!’ But the Son of God knows and understands perfectly, for He has felt and borne our individual burdens.” – David A. Bednar
Faith in yourself. Faith in others. Faith in your own personal strength. Faith in what is to come…
I have faith in my Savior, Jesus Christ! Because of His sacrifice for man, I have found peace. I know God has given me certain trials in life, to see how I choose to react… Will I allow it to make me bitter, negative or become pessimistic? Or will I choose to have faith, hope and joy no matter the outcome? Will I lift others up or drag them down?
“The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.” – Russel M. Nelson
What is the focus of your life?
I choose joy, kindness, and hope for my future.
What will you choose?
I hope having shared my story, brings peace to someone else. Feel free to share this post with others. If you too are struggle with infertility, I encourage you to share your personal story. We are stronger together. You are not alone! Your story just might be the hope someone else is looking for.